Funny Mistakes in English

Actual letter written for application of leave: 
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

Written in a progress test by a sweet seventeen-year-old girl: I haven't had any male for more than a month.

The phrase was said by a student who had just been given another handout at the end of the lesson:  Excuse me. Is this the last shit for today?

This sign was seen in a Mexican hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."(This means the manager urinated or pissed to make this water! Ugh! Of course, the sign should have said, "The manager inspected..." or "The manager has certified...".)

He makes breakfast from the hotel guests.(Ugh! Does he really use people as meat?!? Of course, he should make breakfast FOR the guests!)

A sign in a bar in Norway proclaimed: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."(This means they should not give birth to a baby at the bar! The sign should read "not bring children".)

On his wedding he was wearing a very expensive suitcase.(I am sure he was just wearing a suit, right?)

The President got off the plane and gave a big kiss to the first ladder. (Lady)

The ocean is usually located near the coast.

Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?

I am sorry I am later. 
It took me ten minutes to ignite my car.

Did you have an accident?
When I was skiing, a tree got in front of me 
and hit me hard!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't write my essay. 
My roommate had a toothache this morning.
So you couldn't write your essay?
Yes! She was swelling and decaying badly!

My mother wants me to marry a good, successful man, but I want to marry my boyfriend. (It means her boyfriend is not a good successful man!)

My father is one of my favorite parents!

My leg has been breaking for three weeks.

Unfortunately, the school board was forced to 
cut fifteen percent off all teachers.

I know how to sky dive in the ocean.

If I study really hard, I will graduate in 2004 years

I am studied hard in science class.

I never liked mushrooms, 
but now they are starting to grow in me.

My friends visited last night and 
we served a nice pig dinner.

Next, put the cabbages in salt water. 
Then sit in the sink until the morning.

Don't forget to insult the soup.

I really believe our wedding will last until we die.

What does it mean: 
"I would like to propose to some toast?"

He had such a worm heart.

Our church has smaller members every week.

How far should I tip the driver?

It is dangerous to smoke while 
you are becoming pregnant.

 

Farzad Parsaie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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